MountainWings - The Daily Inspirational E-Mail #1033
Helping You Over The Mountains of Life
For those of you that check your e-mail at least 10 times a day,
this will hit a nerve or a funny bone or maybe both.
40 SIGNS OF THE 00's:
You know you're in the 00's when …
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America,
but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do
not have e-mail addresses.
7. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
8. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the
phone in a business manner.
9. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert
a "9" to get an outside line.
10. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
11. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
12. You have your resume on a diskette.
13. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all
of your best jokes or your MountainWings.com stories.
14. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
15. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely
to get long-service awards.
16. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World
countries annual budgets combined.
17. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
18. You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.
19. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must
be a visitor.
20. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
21. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
22. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your
department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management
consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
23. Vacation time is something you roll over to next year.
24. Every week another brown collection envelope comes around
because someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WORKED THERE is
25. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
26. The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures
are on your desktop.
27. You won't answer your phone if no caller ID is available.
28. You can remember your email address easier than your street address.
29. E-mail is first, beeper text messaging is second, and the phone is a
30. Men know their computer CPU speed, but can no longer tell you their
car engine size or horsepower.
31. Puter envy is now the thing.
32. You don't know what a c: prompt is.
33. A company that doesn't have a web site, isn't a legitimate
34. You meet someone new and you do a search for their name
as soon as you can log on.
35. You can understand someone not having a car easier than you can
them not having an email address.
36. You know that SPAM is not a luncheon meat.
37. You don't like one SPAM and don't eat the other.
38. You are more excited over a larger monitor than a larger TV.
39. You understand internet addiction.
40. You actually know what “http” means.
AND THE CLINCHERS ARE..,
41. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
42. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to
your "friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.
43. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore,
except to send you jokes from the net.
44. You check your email and have no emails, so you check it again.
45. You go to the bathroom at 2am and stop to check your email.
p.s. I know the title said 40 things, but this was typed on the Pentium
with the floating point error. If you understand what that means,
you are definitely in the “00's.
Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
See you tomorrow.
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