MountainWings - The Daily Inspirational E-Mail #1053
Helping You Over The Mountains of Life
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New
Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates,
the Dali Lama, and a hippie.
Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage
compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke.
The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that
we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four
parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door
and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the
world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's
greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of
the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.
Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest and the nation's
richest man. The world needs smart and rich men. I think the world's
smartest and the nation's richest man should have a parachute, too.
"He grabbed one, and out he jumped. The Dali Lama and the hippie looked
at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a
satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your
life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."
The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop.
The world's smartest man and the nation's richest man just jumped out wearing
This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks.
So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster.
The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy;
he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."
Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money,
but the farmer decides he'd be worth it.
So, he buys Randy.
The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard,
giving the rooster a pep talk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now.
You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and
I'll need you to do a good job.
So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and
Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen THREE or FOUR times
and the farmer is just shocked.
Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake
~WHAM~ He gets all the geese.
Randy's up in the pigpen.
He's in with the cows.
Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the
Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy
dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard.
Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal,
shakes his head and says,
"Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now
look what you've done to yourself."
Randy opens one eye, nods towards the buzzards in the sky and say's,
"Shhh. They're getting closer...."
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