Issue # 1016

MountainWings - The Daily Inspirational E-Mail
Helping You Over The Mountains of Life

Want to see a great movie "The Family Man"
Every married man with kids should see this.

There are some things in life that you would never know if it 
weren't for Hollywood.

Without The Movies you wouldn't know this:

** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to 
visit a strip club at least once.

** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak 
English to each other.

** If being chased through town, you can usually take cover 
in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

** All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach 
up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level 
on the man lying beside her.

** The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star 
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

** All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French 

** It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is 
someone to talk you down.

** The ventilation system of any building is the perfect 
hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in 
there and you can travel to any other part of the building 

** Police departments give their officers personality tests to 
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is 
their polar opposite.

** The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

** All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with 
large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going 
to go off.

** If you need to reload your gun, you will always have 
more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any 
before now.

** You are very likely to survive any battle in any war 
unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture 
of your sweetheart back home.

** Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, 
it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German 
accent will do.

** If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster 
or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist 
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

** A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious 
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his 

** When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you 
take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It 
will always be the exact fare.

** Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a 
kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that 
light instead.

Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
See you tomorrow.

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