#1095  Date Application

You have seen them...the "young men", "love of my life"...your 
daughters bring home? Well, now it's time to cover yourselves and protect your 
daughters' well being. Although it's meant in pure fun...many of you MAY want 
to take it serious. Have fun with it. 

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless 
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage 
and medical report from your doctor. 

Date Of Birth:____/____/____ 

Soc. Sec.#______-___-_______ 
Driver's License#____________________ 
Boy Scout Rank:_____________Good Standing: Yes_____No_____ 
Home Address:__________________________________ 
Home Phone#: (___)___________ 

Car Phone#:_______________ 

Do you own 
a. Van?____ 
b. Truck with oversized tires?____ 
c. Car with a trunk full of speakers?_____ 

Do you have any of the following: 
a. An earring_____ 
b. nose ring______ 
c. belly button ring_____ 
or piercings on any other body parts_____ 


(If you answered YES to any of the above questions, discontinue and 
leave the premises immediately.) 

In 30 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? 


In 30 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to 


Church you attend_____________________ 
How often______________________ 
Best time to interview your pastor?_______________________ 

Fill In The Blank. Please answer freely, all answers will be confidential. 

a. If I were beaten, the last bone I want to be broken is: 

b. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me is 

c. Now answer the question you filled in on B 


NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly 
(and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you 
leave the premises quickly keeping your head low and running in 
serpentine fashion. 

I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the 
best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, 
electrocution, and/or hot pokers. 

Signature (This means sign your name) 

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 - 6 YEARS for processing. If 
your application is approved, you will be contacted in writing. Please 
do not call or write, this could cause you unexpected injury. 

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two men wearing 
white ties and answering to the names GUIDO and LOUIE. 

Thank you for inviting MountainWings in your mailbox.
See you tomorrow.